Strange Facts

Proof That The World is Nuts...

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
animals, but the animals must be female! Having sexual
relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)

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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's
genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them
during the examination. He may only see their reflection
in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse.
This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the
deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at
all times. (A brick?)

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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind!")

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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for
the privilege of having sex for the first time.
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is
there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close
to this?)

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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill
her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare
hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand,
may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah, Justice!)

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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but
only in tropical aquarium stores. (But of course!)

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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must
be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the
thought.)

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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have
sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. ( I
presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this
law?)

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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending
machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be
dispensed from a vending machine, only "in places where alcoholic
beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is
this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as
Guam!)

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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
hour.
(Who volunteers for this kinda stuff?)

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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
for pleasure. (So that is why Flipper was always smiling?)

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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its right side
when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of ... ? Did
the government pay for this research?)

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Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez...)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some
people like that.)

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Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like
that, too.)

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And, the best for last:

Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I
had bad breath in the morning!)

Smart Sardar

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two
large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?'
'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out
and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and
has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure
sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags,
hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?'
'Sand,' says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags
contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses
the border on his bike.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal,
meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's
driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between
you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'...............

Hippie And Nun

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in
the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun
if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines
and gets off at the next stop.

When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the
hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get
that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so
the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at
midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the
lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing
powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you
were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he
goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on
schedule, the nun shows up.

While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie
walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a
mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and
I will answer them but you must have sex with me
first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might
keep her virginity.

The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about
having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and
shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie!

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and
shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

Bihar Driving License...

================================================================
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
-----------------------------------------------------------------


NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.





For instruktions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ (Laloo) _____ (Rabri)

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Dacoit (_) Rapeist (_) Kidanapper (_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. read #7 agan & anser here: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: ____________________ (dont leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 .............. (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish- ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

14. Ice seight:



(_) One Ice(2x1) (_) Two Ice(2x2) (_) Half blind (_) Day blind (_) Night blind (_) 4/4 (_)6/6



15.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________







(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

Speeding Ticket.

A driver is pulled over by a police man.
Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it four times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see, can I see your vehicle registration papers please?
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A
senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer #2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The man
steps out of his vehicle.
Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer #2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Officer #2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please.

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Officer #2: Is this your car sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer #2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
licence.

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the
officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He
looks quite puzzled.

Officer #2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a license, stole this car, raped and murdered the owner.
Man: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

The Height Of Cost Cutting...

Smart Alec Answers

Here are some smart alec answers...
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

AND NOW........FOR THE..........

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER SO FAR FOR THE YEAR 2005 ..............
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for your not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says :

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand

Honeymoon

Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon,
so they go back to mom and dads for the night.

In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks
his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies,
"Never mind what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Is Fred
and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies,
"Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, he comes home and asks, "Is Fred and Mary
up yet?"

His mom says, "No."

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "OK! What do you think?
"
He says, "Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline
and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

The Rooster Problem

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird. "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself." Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!" So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away. "Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

Dinner Date

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"